Barbra Brady

Christmas Lawn Decorations Massacred!

In Curiosities, Uncategorized on December 9, 2013 at 8:05 pm

inflatable christmas lawn decorations

All is calm, all is bright. But only at night.

Last night I walked around the neighborhood to check out the seasonal decorations. Lights, angels, managers, Christmas trees, and lots and lots of brightly colored Christmas inflatables. Santa in a hot air balloon. Santa in an Airstream. Santas in boats, planes, and trains. Frosty the hunter Snowman. Santa playing poker with reindeer, for Baby Jesus’ sake. My reaction is: Bah to the blow-ups.

I am sorely afraid that I am in the minority in the little town of Petaluma in my disdain. And it’s not just here, it’s across the land. Huffington Post reports they have proliferated with abandon, and without decorum. There is no getting around it, they have settled in.

So after dark, I decided to join in the joy and let them appear to my wandering eyes. Like a census taker, I went down each block with my eye trained for any new members of the household that might be populating the yards. The outdoor family members you might say, brightly lit and full of air.

I’m no Magi, so I’m not here with tidings of joy. (Readers are advised that the following material is sensitive in nature and may be disturbing to small children.) I didn’t think too much about it this morning when I noticed the fireman Santa on my next-door neighbor’s lawn deflated in front of his persimmon tree. Santa had sprung a flat. Or so I thought. Until I saw more bodies on more lawns, slumped to the ground. It appeared the entire population had been flattened, take down. Someone–or something–has massacred all of the inflatable lawn decorations. The slain are strewn willy-nilly. The only known survivors are those composed of wood and hard plastic. Oh, the carnage.

inflatable Christmas decoration massacre

  1. Hi, could I use this picture in an instagram post? I want to make sure I have permission, and I enjoy posting about underinflated inflatables. I’m hoping to spread awareness about the irresponsible and tragic practice of underinflating, or reckless inflating, that we have come to see more and more over the years.

    Please let me know.

    Thank you,

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